- How do I know how much milk my baby is getting from me?
- What position works well for breastfeeding?
- How do I tell if my boob is full of milk or depleted from the last feed?
- How can I tell if my baby has a good latch?
- Which boob should I start with if my baby didn’t feed from both?
- I know I have enough milk. Why can my baby still chug a bottle of breastmilk after she breastfeeds?
Your baby is depending on you for food, comfort, guidance, and any number of other things. You realize there is a lot you don’t know about making milk for your baby. You have so many questions about what your breasts are doing, how much milk you are making, and definitely, what your baby is doing!
You ask your doctor questions, but they don’t seem to know much about breastfeeding. And you resolve some of your questions through trial and error, but you know that can be painful. So, you continue to Google your questions, study YouTube, and ask your friends with your current challenge.
And often, you end up in a muddle.
Something may have been working for you, and you see online that many people are doing this, but this time it just isn’t working. And you are back to more solitary scrolling (often reading scary stuff), feeling more and more overwhelmed. And, because you have no guidance, you doubt yourself, your boobs, and your ability to breastfeed.
Women have a hard time learning to breastfeed in our modern society.
- Nearly every mother worries about not having enough milk
- Most are shocked at how difficult breastfeeding is to learn
- Many spend weeks in pain
- More than half are supplementing with formula by three months
- Only 37% are still nursing (in any amount) at one year
Breastfeeding should be as easy as sipping a comforting cup in a café.
The problem is, America is a country where breastfeeding is ignored, undermined, and made impossible. And it’s not an accident. It’s by design. In America, everything we do is shaped by corporate interests. Corporations serve their shareholders, and their purpose is to make shareholders wealthy. There is no penalty for wrecking people’s health, our environment, or our social structure.
Companies that make formula also make a lot of money.
The baby milk industry is estimated at an $55,000,000,000 per year. $55 billion a year to take cow’s milk, freeze-dry it, add some corn syrup, soy oil, and vitamins and ship it around the world. And the profit increases every year because well-thought out advertising and marketing increases every year.
Formula companies pay lip service to breastfeeding. They know that if you support a woman where she is at, and keep taking to her, you can befriend her. Then, one day when she has problems breastfeeding, you can rush to her side and comfort her.
I’m sorry.
I’m sorry if this has happened to you.
I’m sorry if hearing this makes you angry.
I’m sorry if hearing this makes you really angry, because you are one of the parents who really and truly could not breastfeed.
I’m sorry if hearing this makes you super angry, because your baby would have died without formula.
We do need formula, and there is nothing wrong with using it when you need it. Not that long ago, many babies died because there was not formula. You can read more about that here.
Failing at breastfeeding is not your fault.
American mothers have far too many social, corporate and medical barriers to assume breastfeeding will happen easily and effortlessly. Mothers who breastfeed beyond a year have determination, good support, and good luck.
We are meant to live in close-knit communities with our mothers, sisters, aunties, and elders. We are meant to learn by watching, asking, intuiting, and also, by being specifically taught by our sisters and elders: “This, is how you make a chicken soup. This, is how you soothe a baby. This is how you clean your clothes… “This, is how you breastfeed.”
We don’t live in a traditional community, but we do have GPS.
When you want to go someplace new, you put your destination into a GPS and it gives you guidance. Out of all the information in the world, it shows you only three things:
1. Where you are
2. Where you are going and
3. What to do next
The Breastfeeding Café is like a GPS.
Put in where you want to go. Post any question about breastfeeding and receive an evidence-based answer with “turn-by-turn guidance” for your exact situation. With this guidance, you can move past your barriers. You naturally enjoy breastfeeding your baby.
When you have GPS, it’s easy to get to where you want to go.
- Painless breastfeeding
- A well-fed baby
- Exclusive breastfeeding
- Effective pumping
- Sleeping better
- Returning to work with ease
- Baby-led weaning
- Making some new friends
- Helping baby meet friends
- Feeling happy and healthy
And these are just the beginning.
The Breastfeeding Café is an online café.
It’s a community of (mostly) breastfeeding mothers gathered in a forum. You can settle in with your device and a coffee, tea, or wine to learn about breastfeeding, and make friends.
We are a community of real people.
- Real parents who live near each other
- Questioning and discussing all things mothering
- Guided by an International Board Certified Lactation Consultant (IBCLC)
- With a Library of Resources
- Meeting in real life for sanity and deepening knowledge
- Using Vanishing Reports that help us understand more about any topic.
Our attitude is full of encouragement, acceptance, empathy and kindness. Moms drop by The Breastfeeding Café to chat, ask questions, and share stories. We anticipate, commiserate, and definitely celebrate!
Breastfeeding Café conversations help you become fluent in breastfeeding.
You will learn how to comfortably hold your baby. You will learn how your milk production works and how other people work through shortage or overabundance. You will learn how to reduce pain and even prevent it. You will meet moms who reduced formula use and now exclusively breastfeed. You will meet women who are working and breastfeeding. You will meet parents who have older babies and children who are nursing.
Wait… back up a minute. Why a café? Why not a clinic?
Breastfeeding is a normal way of raising babies. Breastfeeding is not inherently difficult or painful. It’s not a medical problem. It just a skill that takes time, like any skill. It’s hard in the beginning because you’ve never done it before and there’s so much to learn. By 3 or 4 months, it’s efficient and satisfying for nearly everyone.
Ideally, we learn breastfeeding the way we learn most life skills.
We observe others, ask questions, sometimes hire a teacher, observe, ask more questions, and practice a lot. It’s how you learned to walk, talk, read, ride a bike and any of the hundreds of skills you are now practicing fluently every day.
The Breastfeeding Café is owned, run and moderated by me, Donna Bruschi, IBCLC.
I love my work of helping families with breastfeeding and mothering. I’m around a lot because The Breastfeeding Café is a good place for me to do my writing. I am in The Breastfeeding Café giving guidance and reliable answers to those who ask. I read everything posted and correct (or remove) false or misleading information.
You can ask me all your questions. Before giving you an answer, I will often ask you more questions to find out what is happening, what you have tried, what you would like instead, so we can be sure a solution will work for you. More importantly, I will write you an article and put It in the Library, but not the public library.
The Library of Resources is waiting for your curiosity.
The Library is a small and growing curated collection of evidence-based breastfeeding resources from all over. There are regular articles about breastfeeding and there are the Vanishing Reports. Vanishing reports go into depth about a topic. You have free access to them for awhile and then they vanish. Sometimes they will reappear as a publication you can buy.
In addition, I have a lending library of real books you can borrow.
We have Online Meetings because we love to socialize.
When you sit in a circle of women breastfeeding, you see and hear how normal it all is. You learn about common problems and how other people are moving through them. If you share your challenges, your feelings will be validated and affirmed. Others offer their opinion and I moderate and offer information as needed.
While you may not feel like much of an expert, you are an expert in at least two things: your baby and what mothering a baby, exactly your baby’s age, is like. You are just the right kind of expert for someone with a baby who is your baby’s age, or younger.
How do you know The Breastfeeding Café is for you?
- You know that breastfeeding is vital for you and for your baby
- You love learning
- You are interested in helping others
- You want to be a part of a mothering community
- You want your baby to be more connected to you
- You want your baby to have friends, too.
- You agree that there is no such thing as perfect
- You know that supplementing is often a part of breastfeeding.
The Breastfeeding Café is come as you are:
- Pajama pants and messy bun, baby in your arms, toddler clinging to your leg
- Ready-for-work with pump bag/lunch bag/diaper bag by the door and baby on the boob
- Celebrating because last night your baby slept all night
- Pumping on your lunch break with a salad and a sandwich.
- New jeans, boots, blown out hair and make up, because today it all worked
- Middle of the night with everyone sleeping, so of course, you can’t sleep
- Tears in your eyes, because today has just been an awful day
Our motto is “Be kind and helpful, always.”
What The Breastfeeding Café is not.
The Café is not a substitute for Lactation Consultations, but it may reduce your need for them.
I have many clients who got into their jam because they didn’t know the basics of milk production or positioning. This is a preventable-with-education consultation! In the forum and in meetings, you will read, see and hear tips for good positioning and milk production, over and over again.
You will not see “Trojan Horse” formula ads in the side bar.
There are no ads, period. There is no amplification of rare catastrophes (Like the Christie del Castillo-Hegyi tragedy) to scare you into abandoning breastfeeding.
The Breastfeeding Café is not a place for “Perfect Breastfeeding”.
We are living in overwhelming times. You are encouraged to feed your baby in ways that work for you, your baby and your situation. Exclusive breastfeeding, exclusive pumping, combo-feeding and at-breast feeding are different ways you can nourish, and mother, your baby.
The Breastfeeding Café is not a place for cliques, mean girls and drama.
We do not tolerate abuse of any kind. You will be removed without warning, your account closed, and all your posts removed. Acceptable and unacceptable behavior is spelled out in the Code of Conduct.
The Breastfeeding Café Regular Membership
The Breastfeeding Café Online Forum: This is a private ‘old-school’ forum. It has easy login and full privacy controls. We use our real names (your baby or child can have an alias). Your information is limited to the members of the forum who I know in real life and agree to the Code of Conduct.
2. Professional guidance with IBCLC: Donna Bruschi, IBCLC has more than 20 years helping families overcome breastfeeding challenges. Guidance includes answering basic questions, weighing your baby and recommending a full length one-on-one consultation as needed. You can certainly consult with, and be under the care of, another Lactation Consultant. I agree to work collaboratively with your Lactation Consultant.
3. Café Library: Curated repository of videos, articles, scientific papers, and a lending library of real books.
4. Vanishing Articles: These are In depth reports about breastfeeding and mothering that are free for a period of time and then vanish.
Online Meetings: Video meetings are on Google Meet. Google Meet is accessible in your Gmail application. If you don’t have Gmail, the link will open in any browser and you can also dial in via phone.
20% off merchandise at New Baby New Paltz. New Baby New Paltz has beautiful, ethical and sustainable goods for babies and those that love them. Online and by appointment.
Bring a friend ticket for Online Meetings: You can invite one friend to join our Online Meetings. ($10 value)
Breastfeeding Café Premium Membership Bonuses
All of the above plus:
- Live Meetups: As the weather and/or COVID permits, we will be meeting in small groups. Wearing masks will be required for all in-person indoor meetups to protect babies. Plus we have HEPA air filtration.
- Friend tickets for Open Online Meetings. You can invite up to 5 friends to join our Open Online Meetings.
- Single-use Café passes: You can invite up to 5 friends to visit our Forum during our Guest Week.
- Vanishing Reports: These reports feature an in-depth look at areas of mothering and breastfeeding. They are available only to Premium Members, and only for a few months before they vanish.
The Breastfeeding Café Smiley Face Guarantee
We will create a place for moms to make good friends, and access good information with timely help and advice.
If you do not like The Breastfeeding Café, I am happy to refund your payment. If you can, it would help if you shared what you do and don’t like about it. I’m always interested in giving families what they really need.
The Breastfeeding Café Membership
Starting October 25 2022
Regular Membership
- The Breastfeeding Café Online Forum
- Professional IBCLC guidance
- Café Library
- Vanishing Reports
- Online Meetings($10 value)
- 20% off at New Baby New Paltz
- One friend ticket for each Open Online Meeting ($20 value)
------------------------------------------------------------
Premium Membership
- The Breastfeeding Café Online Forum
- Professional IBCLC guidance
- Café Library
- Vanishing Reports
- Online Meetings ($10 value)
- 20% off at New Baby New Paltz
- Five Friend tickets (5) for Open Online Meeting($100 value)
- Live Meetups ($20 value)
- Single-use Forum passes (5) during Guest Week ($240 value)
- The Care & Feeding of the Breastfeeding Mama ebook ($20 value)
- Cloth Diaper Love: The Cloth Diaper Handbook ($20 value)
- Eleven Essentials Before Beginning Breastfeeding ($10 value)
- Taking Care of Myself Poster ($5 value)
Have questions?
If there is anything you want to know before or after signing up, you can contact me here: