You might be surprised at some of these Mothering Myths:
- 'Bonding with your baby' only happens in the first hour after birth. Bonding actually happens continually after birth.
- Healing involves lots of crying. Crying can actually keep you from experiencing and releasing the deep sadness held in your body.
- Postpartum Depression, PTSD and ADD have nothing to do with relationships. Proper family and social support are vital in treating these.
- Traditional talk therapy is the "Gold Standard" for resolving family problems. It's great that people are finally comfortable getting help and there are many new therapies that are equally or more effective.
- Being or having a teen means surefire insanity. All right, this one's partially true! But, you can learn from the craziness, using it as a tool for deepening your relationship with your child.
- Your relationship is sunk because your partner refuses 'to get help'. The only person you can change is yourself. To put it another way, if you felt secure and loved and were able to relate to your partner with love, compassion and kind words, what might happen then?
- Divorces are always nasty. It's not easy, but you can grow personally and become kind towards each other during your separation and new relationship.
- When someone dies, that's the end of the relationship. Thank goodness, you can learn to keep people alive in your heart in a loving way without sorrow or bitterness.
Nearly everyone who is happy in their heart knows these secrets:
- Relationships change over time and need adjustments.
- Unhappy relationships are never one person's fault.
- The way to have a great relationships is to accept, forgive and take responsibility for your actions.
But...you already know all that.... You are doing them to the best of your ability.
And...you are probably saying things like this to yourself:
"How could this be my problem? How did this happen to me?"
"There are circumstances beyond my control. There is nothing I can do."
"I don't see how I can ever improve things."
“I have to do this by myself, because there is no one who can help me.”
"I am too embarrassed to talk to anyone about this."
All these questions indicate that on some level you would like some help but haven't quite figured out what kind of help fits you and your situation. It may or not be time to try something new. If you make the wrong choice or it doesn’t work out, things might turn out worse than what you have now.
Your brain is simple and predictable. It remembers how to protect you from life-threatening situations. It will do anything to keep you from harm and it constantly pushes away things that don't match what it knows. You’re using lifelong strategies that have helped you survive and relate with others.
However, when you are angry, afraid, depressed or in a brand new situation, you can freeze and avoid seeking help. You can spend years doing something that doesn't serve you anymore because your brain only remembers how you survived in the past. I do the same thing when I need help: I put it off because I want to be absolutely sure I will be treated with love and care in a way that respects who I am and feels safe.
So that you can have all your questions answered and see if you like working with me, I offer easy, private assessments. These sessions are 30 minutes long. At the end of the session, you will have a different perspective on your problem, some tools you can use going forward to improve things, and a plan for moving through your current difficult situation. If you are interested, I will explain session and fee structures. You can decide if it works for you or not. I am fine with either decision.
To make an appointment for a private session or to ask a question: call me at (845) 750-4402
Or you can send me an email and I will get back to you within 24 hours.