You wouldn't wish your child on your worst enemy, or maybe you would.
He is the "centerpiece" at family functions and usually not in a good way.
Nobody gets enough sleep. Transitions are a battle of wills. Your child argues and/or melts down regularly. She just pushes your buttons. You are constantly putting out fires. Mealtimes are a minefield. Your child probably has strong likes and dislikes, about food, clothing and situations.
Being a mother is the hardest thing you have ever done.
If your sweet child is now an adolescent, you may have found yourself captain of a mutinous crew, wallowing in a sea of doubt. Or, you may have a teen making some bad choices leaving you with hard choices or "Tough Love."
Nothing in your experience has prepared you for this. You've lost your confidence. Balancing their needs, your needs and your sanity seems impossible.
You are so tired of other mothers bragging.
Their children SLEEP. Their children LOVE school. Their children have lots of friends, hit homeruns, make the honor roll, and bla-bla-bla. They make it seem so easy with their rules, protocols and schedules. How are they so pulled together?
You don't have any peers, role models or basis for comparison which leaves you feeling sad, doubt-filled, alone, punished, lost, ashamed, and most of all, exhausted. You swallow embarrassments and don't talk much how much of a failure you feel.
While you receive plenty of advice, none of it seems to help.
You google diagnoses and read parenting articles. You may be in parenting forums or have taken compassionate or logical-type parenting classes without finding your tribe.
People tell you that you are spoiling your child, setting him up for failure in the real world. They tell you you to spank your child and show her who's boss.
You've been through the medical model and while some things are better, you are still left with many unanswered questions.
You've tried being kind and patient. You've tried consequences and logic. You've set up rewards and behavior charts. In your worst moments, you resort to yelling, shaming and punishment which only makes things worse.
The problem is that we are living in different times.
Communities are different. Families are different. Children are different than when you were a kid. But your baby's or child's fundamental needs as a human have not changed, and it's harder to meet those needs because of our fast paced lives, technology, lack of knowledge and other modern stresses.
What you really need to do is understand and fill your child's needs.
Raising a child is kind of like playing a video game.
You have a mission. You have a car. You have obstacles that keep popping up in front of you. If you fail, you have to start the mission at the beginning and try to get through the same puzzle again, and again, until you figure out the one way through.
Your mission is to uncover:
- Why your child is acting the way he is - what he 'needs'
- How to use the resources you already have
- Where to find other resources for help
- How your family can be a source of pleasure and nourishment instead of a drain.
What you need is someone who can explain the game.
Someone who can give you a little perspective and information on the particular game you are trapped in. Someone who can empathize, hand you a towel, boost you a level, and get you back in the game.
I've been in your position. I have three kids who, with much love and effort on all of our parts, made it into adulthood. Thanks to them, I enjoy an incredible wealth of experiences. In addition, I've been working with parents for nearly two decades as a lactation consultant, and as a coach, formally and informally through my social circles and clients.
For two decades, I have helped thousands of parents navigate not just breastfeeding but lack of sleep, disruptive behavior, partners, grandparents, school, loss of a child, domestic violence, and so much more.
How does it work?
I work with clients one-on-one to set goals and address problems that come with having a high need child in the family. Large goals are divided into workable chunks with stategies and acocuntability.
What do I have to commit to?
It starts with a free 30 minute assessment. If we agree to work together, then there is a commitment of 5 one-hour sessions.
What happens in a session?
I use a process called Resonance Repatterning that helps you resonate with parenting in a more positive way. You will learn what your child needs at any given age or stage. You will gain insight into your problem, like where it originated and what else is connected to it. After a session, you are able to easily achieve your goals and revisit your problems in a positive frame of mind. Often, you feel calmer, happier and empowered as well.
What is Resonance Repatterning?
What you resonate with is what you experience in your life. If you resonate with success, then your life feels successful. If you resonate with the vibrations of anger and resentment, then anger and resentment will color everything in your life.
You can probably think of three or four things right away that you do not resonate with. Think about your life and notice what isn't there. Are you in a happy home? Is your life calm? Are you comfortable with structure and discipline? Are things orderly? Do things happen in a timely manner?
How does it work?
Because it's a vibration, resonance can be shifted by entraining with a more powerful vibration. For example, if you hear a bass beat, you will probably feel inclined to dance, or at least tap your foot, in time with it.
Entrainment works on subtle, nearly imperceptible levels as well. For most people, the smell of baking cookies causes them to relax and smile. In another example, if you consciously think of a happy memory, it causes a positive response in your body. You may start smiling or burst out laughing and instantly feel better.
This is a simple explanation and the free session is so you can experience how it works and ask all the questions you need to ask.
Is this therapy?
It's not like talking to a mental health therapist like a psychologist or social worker. We are working on the physical, mental, emotional and energetic levels all at the same time. You will be setting an intention or identifiying an obstacle and gathering all the pieces you need to achieve your goals.
About how much is this going to cost?
After the free session, the investment for the five session package is $750.
How many sessions will I need?
I find that five sessions generally provide people with a good measure of accomplishment and real skills you can use on your own. If you enjoy working together, we can continue however you find it helpful. Some people schedule weekly, some monthly. It is on-going because your child is always growing and changing. Each stage provides fresh challenges for you to master.
- Immediate understanding of why your child is acting out
- Easy strategies to reduce upset and misunderstandings in your family
- Simple ways to put more structure into your life
- Learning resources for anger management and stress reduction
- Goal setting and accountability so you achieve what you want
You don't have to feel this way about your high-need child, at least not all the time. Whether you have a baby or a teen, you can feel happy and confident. You can feel sure of your parenting choices and lifestyle.
If you already resonate with what I am saying, you can schedule a free 30 minute assessment to ask questions: call (845) 750-4402
Or you can ask me a question via email and I will get back to you within 24 hours.
If you’re new here, you may be wondering, "Is this for me?"