Your hopes and dreams of being an ideal mother have disintegrated into weeks or years of living hell.
Your patience is gone. You are exhausted and frustrated. You wonder if you are even cut out for this. This is NOT what you signed up for. You feel trapped and angry. You are probably not sleeping well. You are doubting that things will ever change. You want the best for your child, but it seems impossible.
Your child may be ordinary, a regular kind of baby or kid. Lately, something is off. If he's a baby, he waking, nursing constantly and just wants to be held. A toddler or an older child may be cranky, irritable, sad or angry. His appetite may have disappeared or he could be craving sweets, fats or junk food.
You may have an intense, high need or special needs baby or child. Parenting her is a constant drain. You are tuned in with her, you know what she needs most of the time, but you find yourself impatient, angry and resentful at having to always "Be On".
You have searched online, asked your friends and family, asked for help from doctors, therapists, classes, teachers, and clergy. You have tried or thought of trying medications. You are discouraged and confused with the results.
How could your child be so different?
What have you done wrong?
Mothering can be rewarding, intuitive and natural but, often, it's not easy. If you've done all that and you are still suffering, there's probably some underlying reason for your situation.
Mothering is the hardest spiritual practice in the world. Priests, Yogis, Monks, Nuns and other holy devotees would quit if they had your daily regimen. No other spiritual practice in the world makes you stop every 5-10 minutes for acts of devotion. No other spiritual practice inspires the selfless love for another human being as does the devotion of parenting. If you disagree, call me and we'll have a conversation about this.
Because mothering is so demanding, mothers often get confused and scared. Some mothers just give up. They hope their child will be raised by babysitters, neighbors, or the angels and higher powers that brought them into the world. Others react in fear. They confine their child to a regimen that dismisses their child's needs and individuality.
You already know there is no one right way to raise a child.
Raising a child is kind of like playing a video game. You have a mission. You have a car. You have obstacles that keep popping up in front of you. If you fail, you start the mission at the beginning and try to get through that same puzzle again, and again, until you figure out the one way through.
What you need is a "Cheat", a code that unlocks the puzzle. Once you figure out what the cheat is, the whole game gets a lot easier. A cheat will help you to understand:
- Why your kid is acting the way he is.
- How the parenting game really works and how you can get good at it.
- How to use the resources you already have.
- Where to find resources for help that don't cost anything.
- How your family can be a source of pleasure and nourishment instead of a drain.
I'm not saying you'll beat the game, but you will play the game a whole lot better and become a master player.
What you need is someone who can listen to your situation, give you a little perspective and information on the particular game you are trapped in. Someone who can empathize, hand you a towel, give you a boost, and get you back in the game.
If you are ready to get back in the game, a private mothering session is available for you (and your partner.) At the end of this 30 minute session, you'll have a plan and some answers to your most problematic questions.
You may be wondering if you really need some help or if you can get by on your own. In my experience, if you fit one or more of these situations, you could use some extra help:
If your baby or child is frequently unhappy, angry, violent or disrespectful.
If you think that your baby or child hates you and/or your partner.
If you think, or have been told, that you are not a good parent.
If you and your partner disagree, fight or avoid issues.
If you have family patterns of alcoholism, addiction, abuse, or divorce.
If you are depressed, or think you are not cut out for mothering.
If any of these situations describes what you are going through, you can probably benefit from a Mothering the Mother session.
I wasn't always a parenting expert. I come from a family that's as dysfunctional as any out there (and probably it still is) but now we work things out.
For many years, I struggled unhappy and alone, single parenting within a marriage. What is different now is that I don't do it all by myself anymore. I have a team of adults who support me, and my kids. Because of my team, I don't give up. I have an optimistic and hopeful outlook on raising my children. I handle the rough spots with grace and patience. I know my kids will grow up to be caring, successful and responsible adults.
I know the underlying patterns and needs of my kids. I know what makes them tick, what ticks them off and how to handle almost every situation that pops up. My team of parenting experts know the cheat codes, boost my levels and ride shotgun when I need it.
My team allows me to be at my best — day in and day out.
It is possible to live happily with your intense kid, in your family. You may think you are too far gone or your child is beyond help. Maybe that's true. But then again — maybe it's not. I don't see things the same way others do and I handle problems differently from other people.
Or you can send me an email and I will get back to you within 24 hours.
To schedule your mothering session call/text: (845) 750-4402