How does it work? I work with people three ways:
I work forwards. I help new mothers to raise their babies with love and patience. They learn to understand their child's cues, communicate with them and meet their needs.
I teach. I teach basic and advanced classes in communicating and relating for parents, counselors and health care professionals.
I work backwards. I help people who didn't get what they needed when they were babies and children. They often feel lonely, afraid, angry and/or hopeless. They struggle with basic relationship skills like setting boundaries, asking for what they need and feeling worthy of love. These are people who are familiar with anger, frustration, resentment, abandonment, depression, deep sadness, trauma and anxiety.
I believe that if you want to have great relationships (and heal your heart), you need three things:
1. Personal Responsibility: Believe it or not, you can transform a bad relationship into a great one, even if the other person never does a thing. How is this possible? The relationship between family members is like interlocking puzzle pieces: no matter what one looks like, the other always fits perfectly. If you change, your child or partner will adapt and mold to your new way of being.
2. Acceptance: Whether you call it "Making lemonade out of lemons", "Karma" or "God's Will", acceptance brings you into connection with something higher and greater than yourself. If you can live in acceptance, you won't waste energy fighting or being depleted by challenging situations. You may protest: "Does this mean I have to lay down and take it?" No. Acceptance merely means that you don't fight circumstances. Your energy is focused on moving through a difficult situation with positive qualities like understanding, grace and humor.
3. Forgiveness: When you can forgive, your heart expands in love and health. You may swear that this can never happen because you have suffered at the hands of a monster. The simple answer is that forgiveness is a process, in the same way that childbirth is a process. You may understand the overall idea, but you can't force it. It needs to happen in its own way and with it's own right timing.
While you probably understand and practice all three, you probably don’t consistently use them in your relationships. You probably complain about the other person, you are angry they won't change and as a result, your heart is hurting.
"So, what the heck am I supposed to do?"
Good question! Let's see if I can make it clearer.....
In the same way that a single domino will spill thousands in a line or the way that pulling on one thread will unravel a sweater; the right words or the right action, in the right time, can radically shift something you have believed your whole life.
- One mother moved through an emotional trauma she had lived with for 25 years, completely changing how she related with her baby.
- A couple rebuilt and strengthened their relationship after an impulsive affair tore their family apart and caused them both to examine what what most important to them.
- A mother released the guilt and grief she felt over how she handled her mother's drawn-out and painful death.
When you and I work together, we talk about what you want to change, evaluate what is ready for change and figure out how that needs to happen. Then, we do what is needed to shift the old patterns. We use a combination of counseling, focusing and energy healing in a way that feels most comfortable for you. You become aware of things that are connected to your problem, you learn why you've suffered and you feel the healing shift. This is a permanent shift and you feel better relatively quickly.
To make an appointment or ask a question: call me at (845) 750-4402
Or you can send me an email and I will get back to you within 24 hours.
Still not sure if this is for you? See if you still believe in these Relationship Myths.